The Protectors

Married but not Engaged


Why Men Check Out and What You Can Do to Create the Intimacy You Desire



Frustrated over your stalled marriage? Tired of enduring a less-than-satisfying relationship with your husband? Feeling anger or guilt about wanting more from your passive “nice guy”? Paul and Sandy Coughlin understand the life you’re leading, because once Paul was a Christian Nice Guy husband and Sandy was his frustrated wife. Their freeing message will help you understand the inner life of your emotionally detached husband as well as what you can do–and shouldn’t do–to create a more satisfying relationship. They’ll help you understand the forces that make men passive, how to handle issues of anger, respect, and resentment, and learn practical ways to nurture intimacy. Married…But Not Engaged informs, instructs, encourages, and inspires as it shows how you and your husband can draw closer together.

“This book informs us with laser-beam accuracy why many nice guys detach from their marriage and what loving wives can do about it. They brilliantly expose an often overlooked default-drive of many relationships: how niceness leads to passivity which leads to humdrum which leads to resentment which leads to lack of intimacy and relationship crisis. Read this book and discover how to be engaged and married at the same time!” — Dr. Paul Coleman, Author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy

“The Coughlins have put together this empathetic guide to help women understand the inner lives of their emotionally absent men and facilitate change. While the authors use biblical texts to illustrate their message, it is based on sound psychology and therapeutic techniques. The writing is clear and not condescending; the information offered will help any married couple dealing with passive aggression and rigidity, regardless of religious affiliation. Recommended for all libraries.” — Library Journal (

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